Traumerei
by Kiekow
Summary: BASED ON A DOUJINSHI Ed and Al Elric came home with their bodies intact, right? Or maybe it's all just a beautiful nightmare. A paradise.


**This is a story version I wrote of the FMA doujinshi Traumerei. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or Traumerei.**

* * *

_Do you remember?_

_We flew a lot of paper airplanes, didn't we?_

_Raced them against each other_

_Watched intently to see where they would land_

_Smiling_

_At that time, we_

_Didn't know anything_

_Didn't have anything_

_And we had everything in the palm of our hands._

"Hello. You must have had a long trip." Pinako Rockbell opened the old oak door, paint chips falling lightly to the ground. Just beyond the threshold stood Roy Mustang, clad in a royal blue military uniform with a midnight-black cloak trailing along the splintering porch.

"Well, I owe you a visit." Roy grinned a bitter smile.

"You were last out here..." Pinako took a long drag on her pipe.

"About three months ago." Roy finished letting his smile fall.

Pinako blew a puff of smoke from between her lips and stared beyond Mustang at the setting sun, crimson arching across the sky through bleached clouds. "Three months ago… Yes, I suppose it has been half a year since it happened. Sorry you had to come all the way out to the boondocks to see us."

Roy raised a hand, waving her apology away. "No, it's no trouble at all." His obsidian eyes bore into the older woman's sapphire eyes, dragging them away from the dying light of day.

"How is he?"

"The same as ever." Pinako sighed. "Wait here, I'll go get him…" She turned down a brightly-lit hallway, two doors on either side, leading to a bedroom each.

"No, that's okay." Roy followed her, boots clacking on the wooden floor. "I'll go myself."

_I still regret it._

"He's here again?" Winry approached her grandmother, fists clenched in anger.

"Winry." Pinako faced her granddaughter, smiling an ever so slight faux grin. "He feels responsible too, you know. He was in charge of them, and the boy came back like this…"

Winry furrowed her eyebrows and turned away hurriedly, a single glimmering teardrop, ruby in the dying light, falling to the floor she, Ed, and Al had walked as children.

_I could have sworn that they'd already seen hell_

_Perhaps even that was not hot enough for them_

_Now, I can say I've visited the REAL hell_

_In the split second when it started_

_This is my fault._

Roy knocked lightly on the door to the western bedroom, partially ajar. Hearing no response, he whispered, "I'm coming in." The floorboards protested under his weight to the sound of the curtain fluttering in the summer breeze. Bookshelves, filled with alchemical manuscripts and records, filled the walls and overflowed onto the floor. A white bed rested against the wall under the window, a teenage boy sound asleep in it, a blanket barely covering him. Golden hair rustled slightly with every slow breath he took, a smile painting his face. Roy, finding a splash of color in the monotone room, turned to a small vase of flowers on a nightstand beside the bed. He picked a single crimson blossom from the bowl and set it gently in Edward's hair.

He moved slightly and groaned, "I said, cut it out… Al."

Roy gasped in shock and swiftly removed his hand, setting it against his lips. He noticed a single, white paper airplane on the floor, wondering why a 17-year old boy would be playing with a flying sheet of paper.

Edward slowly opened his golden eyes, moaning groggily as he rolled onto his back. He stifled a scream as he scooted quickly away from Roy, yelling, "C-colonel!"

Roy, expressionless, raised a hand in greeting. "Hello."

Edward, angry and shocked, snarled, "Y-you! When did you-!?"

"I've been here for a bit." Roy smirked at Ed's surprise.

"Don't freak me out like that!" Edward roared, blushing with embarrassment. "Always frickin' show up unexpected… Huh?" He lifted his right hand to the side of his head and found a soft, waxy blossom tucked behind his ear. With a groan, he tossed it at Mustang's face. "And cut this crap out!"

Roy caught it easily and set it back into the vase. "I had business in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by." _I'm not 'Colonel' anymore, Fullmetal._ _Though I supposed your title is different too… Ed._ Roy lifted his chin in superiority to Edward, a smirk still plastered to his face. "I dropped in to see how you guys were doing, but I certainly hadn't expected this." He gestured to the vase. "You've taken up flower arranging?"

Edward, mostly calm by now, glanced at the flowers. "Oh, that? That's Winry's thing." He smiled. "She says 'beautiful things are good for healing', or something like that." He swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "I told her I didn't need 'em, but…"

Roy motioned at Ed's hair, saying, "You've gotten your hair styled."

Feeling the well-done braid with a battle-scarred hand, he mumbled, "Hm? Yeah. Al was bitching at me to get it done properly." Roy's smirk vanished, but Edward closed his eyes and grinned.

_This is…_

_Pure insanity._

"It's been a while…" A bouquet of multi-colored flowers lay across a cracked stone plate in the shadow of a rounded gravestone, engraved with the name 'Trisha Elric'. "Mom."

_Little by little, bit by bit_

_Picked away at_

_Shackled, chained_

_I think that every_

_Time I come here_

Edward sat in front of the grave, arms holding his knees against his chest as he rested his head against cold Automail.

_I know that life_

_Is based on making mistakes_

_And that's supposed to be okay_

_But still, with every breath I gasp for_

_I feel like reality is so merciless_

_It makes you want to scream_

_In frustration_

He slowly lifted his head to gaze at the name engraved on the headstone, the memories of a child swimming in front of his eyes. Memories of playing, of soft, tender arms holding him, of warm bowls of stew for dinner, of an inhuman monster clawing toward him.

_And honestly I can't believe I want to say "Hi, I'm home"_

"Oh, there you are!" A familiar voice grasped Edward's attention, sounding from somewhere behind him. Turing his gaze, his eyes widened in astonishment. A boy with short brown hair, only a year younger than him, stood smiling at Ed. "Sheesh… I was wondering where you'd gotten to!" Alphonse laughed. "Auntie says it's time for dinner."

Edward turned to face his brother, gasping, "A-al…"

Alphonse's face melted into an expression of surprise and dread, "What's wrong?"

"…Al, is that you?"

"Brother, what's with you? You're giving me the weirdest look- huh?"

Edward's voice rose into a disbelieving shout. "Your body, you're back to normal… How?"

Al began to smile again, shaking his head, "What are you talking about? We finished our journey and came home, remember?"

Edward, still unbelieving, held a hand to his forehead, trying to remember. "O-oh. We did… Did we?"

"Sheesh, what a weird brother I've got!" Alphonse held a pale hand out to Edward. "Come on."

Edward gently grasped his brother's hand, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.

_That's right._

_We came home._

_Our journey is done._

Walking along a dirt path snaking through grassy fields dotted with sheep that stretched beyond the horizon, Ed and Al eventually came to a small, two-story home. _Huh? This place…_ Edward tapped his brother on the shoulder, confused. "Hey, Al! Where the heck are you going?"

Al, now also confused, replied, "Huh? Home, of course!"

"H-home…?" In one of the second story windows, a light flashed, illuminating the gathering darkness around the house. It called the brothers home, just as their mother had during their childhood.

Alphonse, seeing Edward's surprise remain even though their home was in sight, asked, "What's wrong?"

"That's our house." Ed pointed at the house, turning to gaze at his brother. "Why is this here?"

"You said it wasn't until we had a home again that we'd have everything back… We built this place together, remember?" Al gestured vaguely. "With alchemy, but you know…"

Edward put a hand to his chin, contemplating. "Oh, really? Yeah, uh, I guess…" He couldn't remember having rebuilt his childhood home.

Alphonse crossed his arms, scowling. "Brother, are you sure you're alright?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine!" Edward stammered.

Al grinned, closing his eyes as the sweet summer breeze ruffled his hair. "Everybody's waiting for us inside."

Edward opened the old door, paint chips fluttering onto the threshold. "I'm home!" He called.

Sitting at the small table in the kitchen were Winry and Pinako. Winry leapt to her feet and slammed her hands onto the table's worn surface, crying out, "Ed! Jeez, you had me worried! I had no idea where you went…"

Edward replied with subtle confusion, "I just went out to visit mom's grave." His eyes glanced at the empty table before adding, "Huh? I thought Al said dinner was ready."

Both Winry and Pinako looked shocked at this perfectly ordinary comment. Winry's voice fell to a murmur. "E-ed… What did you just say?"

"Huh? Like I said, Al called me in for dinner, so why…?"

Winry's eyes glistened with tears as she suddenly found interest in her feet, grinding her teeth.

Pinako hesitantly interjected, "Ed…"

"You're still doing that?" Winry muttered.

"Winry?" Edward's expression morphed into one of impending dread.

"Al-"

Pinako snapped to attention. "Winry!" She yelled.

"Al is gone."

Ed smiled disbelievingly. "What are you talking about? W-winry?"

Pinako, at attention, spoke, "Ed…"

"What do you mean, 'Al's gone'?"

Winry held her mouth shut, eyebrows edging close together.

Edward gestured to his side. "Al is right-" Only empty air brushed his hand. He turned quickly to the still-open doorway, finding no one there. "What the… Al?" He called.

"Ed..." Tears fell from Winry's cobalt-blue eyes.

"H-he was just there!" Edward cried out, panicked. "Al!" He turned back to Winry and his aunt, declaring, "He was right beside me! Al!" He turned around repeatedly, calling out his brother's name. "Al!"

"Stop it!" Winry interrupted. "Please… Ed… Pull yourself together." She walked toward him slowly. "I don't want to see you like this…"

"Win-"

Winry grabbed his shoulders firmly and stared him in the eyes. "Please, get it through your head. I'm begging you…" She bent her head, resting it against his shoulder. "He's not here. Al is gone."

"I-I don't get it…" Edward spoke slowly, "What the hell do you mean, he's gone?! We finished our journey, and came home, didn't we?!"

Winry stiffened. "Finished your journey…? I guess you did."

Edward frowned. "What's with you? We got everything back, didn't we?" He held his arms out to her, both composed of flesh and blood. "My arm, too! Look!"

"Winry, that's enough." Pinako grasped her granddaughter's dress in apprehension.

"Ed… In order to get your arm and leg back, Al…"

Pinako bolted upright, knocking the chair over in her haste. "Winry!"

"Al... he gave himself… as a sacrifice…"

_"Brother… I'm sorry."_

Edward fell to his knees, screaming with rage and disbelief as Winry and Pinako hid in a corner, hands over their mouths in fear.

"Brother!"

Edward jumped to his feet, gasping for breath. A metal hand pressed reassuringly to his back as a grassy plain rustled in a slight breeze around them. "A-al?"

"Sheesh… I was wondering where you'd gotten to! Auntie says that dinner is ready." An empty suit of armor kneeled behind Ed, a vessel for the soul of his brother.

"Al… Is that you?" Edward couldn't believe his eyes.

"I've been looking all over for you- Huh?"

Edward stared at his brother, asking, "It that really you, Al?"

Alphonse shook his head from side to side, his armor clanking. "Yes, it's me. It's me, Alphonse! Like there are any other talking suits of armor wandering around! What a weird brother I ha-"

Edward held his Automail hand out to his brother. "Al." Hooking it around Al's side, he pulled himself against the cold armor in a frantic embrace.

"B-brother?" Alphonse returned the hug, astonished as to the sudden strange behavior of his older brother.

Edward squeezed the suit of armor against himself, even though he knew Al could not feel it.

"Brother? What's wrong?"

_Ah, a dream…_

_That's good…_

The two brothers walked down a well-trodden dirt path, bordered by stone walls preventing the passage of the sheep dotting the landscape. Alphonse walked just behind Edward, causing him to ask, "You're there, aren't you, Al?"

"Hm? Yeah, I'm here."

Edward paused before saying, "Hey, walk in front of me."

"Eh? Why? That's strange…" Al hesitated.

"Just do it!" Edward said firmly, but not unfriendly.

"I would feel weird leading you, brother."

Now that Alphonse was completely in Edward's sight, he sighed and closed his eyes for the briefest of moments. When he opened them, the path stretched on into the distance and the warm air was unmoved by the passing of a suit of armor. Panicking, Edward opened his mouth to call out his brother's name when a metal hand touched his own.

"Brother?"

Ed quickly moved his hand away, mumbling, "Uh, I…"

"What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream when you fell asleep out there?" Alphonse held his hand out again. "You wanna hold hands?"

Blushing, Edward hesitated before shouting "SIT!"

Alphonse, shocked, interjected a quiet, "What?!"

"Turn around and sit down!" Edward commanded.

"Wh-what's with this, all of a sudden…" Although he was thoroughly confused, Al obeyed his brother and sat on the ground. He groaned as a sudden weight launched itself onto his shoulders, an Automail hand gripping his helmet, throwing it forward suddenly. "B-brother!"

Edward smiled, letting his cheek rest against the cool metal of Alphonse's helmet. "Okay, now go."

Al stood up with a creak, mumbling with a smile in his voice, "Honestly, what's up with this? It's really selfish of you." Under his breath, he added, "You're so pushy."

As Alphonse walked along the path, Ed commented, "Nice view from up here…"

"Isn't it though?" Al laughed.

Edward scowled slightly. _It sounds like you're bragging…_

"But, actually, I can't wait until I'm back to normal." Al said wistfully. "I want to be able to see your face up close, brother."

Ed, remembering his dream, bolted upright, growling, "There're more interesting things to see than that, stupid."

"I'm going to get your limbs back for you. I am going to see you fixed, you know." Alphonse said with absolute determination.

Near shouting now, Edward desperately said, "I'm fine, don't you worry about me! You just think about yourself now, you hear!?"

Alphonse looked up, exclaiming a small, "Ah!"

Edward shuddered, following his gaze to a crisp white object floating lazily through the sky above them.

"A paper airplane. We used to make those a lot, didn't we? Back before we knew how to do alchemy."

Edward stared at the drifting plane, murmuring, "Yeah, you're right. Sure brings back memories." As if staring at a reflection on the surface of water, he saw himself and his brother as children, laughing as they threw a paper airplane over the top of a hill and into the wind over Resembool.

"Brother, do you think we would have been better off if we had never heard of alchemy?" Al queried.

Edward thought this over for a moment before sighing, "I don't know."

"Me, I'm sort of glad I know how to do it… Because that means I'm going to be able to put you back to normal." Alphonse vowed.

With a slight plink, a teardrop fell on Al's helmet. More littered the ground as they walked.

"Hm, it's sprinkling." Said Al, who could not feel rain.

Edward stifled a sob before saying, "…Yeah." Wiping a tear from his cheek, he added, "Al, I swear, I'm going to fix you, so please… Don't leave me behind."

"Leave you? Where would I go?" Al questioned.

"I dunno, anywhere!"

"Of course I wouldn't do that!" Alphonse laughed. "Don't be silly, brother! We'll always be together."

_…An indulgent little fairy tale _

Roy Mustang lifted the paper airplane off of the floor of Edward's bedroom and walked back into the kitchen to converse with Pinako. "There were airplanes in his room. Why would he be doing that?" He gestured at an airplane lodged between two wooden boards in the ceiling. "He probably made that one too."

"Who knows? I could be some type of regression…" Pinako said thoughtfully.

Roy stared at the paper airplane in his hand, saying, "But it's more like he's having a dream. A dream where his brother is always with him. Almost as if…" He caressed the well-folded edges of the plane. "He's dream the world is perfect." Gazing upward at Pinako, he asked, "Do you really want to wake him up from that? It could just be our egos, asserting our own selfish desires. Can we honestly know better?"

Pinako hesitated, looking past Mustang at the figure of Edward leaning out of his window into the breeze, smiling. "…I don't know. What do you think of Ed, the way he is now?" She added slowly, "Do you think… I'm being cruel?" She gestured at Edward. "Look at him. He's smiling. Understand, Mr. Soldier? Right now, that boy is… happy."

_A beautiful nightmare, one where he's happy…_

_In other words, paradise._

Pinako opened the door to the darkness outside the home as Roy walked through it. "Show your face around here more often, it's been a pleasure. Come back again."

Roy grinned. "Yes, I intend to."

"As long as you don't expect too much out of him, or force him into a confrontation, Winry and I will be happy to welcome you in." Pinako smiled back. "Until he decides to start changing on his own."

"Say, grandma…" Winry lifted a steaming cup of tea from the splintering table.

"What?" Pinako turned to face her granddaughter, smoke flitting through the air from her pipe.

"Ever since they failed to transmute their mother, from that day on, Al only existed as a soul in that armor, right?" She said slowly.

"Yeah."

"You know, I've been thinking…" Winry murmured, unsure. "Maybe Al was a ghost to begin with." After a pause, she exclaimed hurriedly, "Ah, I'm sorry! Don't mind me, I was just babbling crazy stuff…"

Pinako smiled. "Ah, I think I know where you were going with that." She closed her eyes, considering Winry's idea. "Maybe you're right. If that's true, then maybe Al is still with Ed, even now."

Outside the window, Roy was walking off into the distance.

"Only Ed knows the answer to that one."

A paper airplane skittered to a half on the ground by Roy's feet, followed by a cry of "Colonel!" Turning around quickly, he saw Edward leaning on the balcony railing of the Rockbell home.

Behind him stood a boy with short brown hair and friendly eyes.

"See you later!" Edward and Alphonse smiled at Roy.

_Hmm? I see…_

"You really were there, weren't you?" Roy picked up the plane and turned around, continuing the long walk along the winding path.

_So that's how it is._

He raised the back of his hand in a wave to the brothers as he disappeared over the horizon.

_You both are just fine._


End file.
